Chronicles of Woe
Note: This is an unofficial record of the evolving lore of Gruff, its characters and history. In the Beginning According to the account of Peter Christen Asbjørnsen and Jørgen Moe in Norske Folkeeventyr. Once upon a time there were Three Billy Goat Gruffs, who were to go up to the hillside to make themselves fat, and the name of all three was "Gruff." On the way up was a bridge over a cascading stream they had to cross; and under the bridge lived a great ugly troll , with eyes as big as saucers, and a nose as long as a poker. So first of all came the youngest Billy Goat Gruff to cross the bridge. "Trip, trap, trip, trap! " went the bridge. "Who's that tripping over my bridge?" roared the troll . "Oh, it is only I, the tiniest Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat," said the billy goat, with such a small voice. "Now, I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll. "Oh, no! pray don't take me. I'm too little, that I am," said the billy goat. "Wait a bit till the second Billy Goat Gruff comes. He's much bigger." "Well, be off with you," said the troll. A little while after came the second Billy Goat Gruff to cross the bridge. Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap, went the bridge. "Who's that tripping over my bridge?" roared the troll. "Oh, it's the second Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat," said the billy goat, who hadn't such a small voice. "Now I'm coming to gobble you up," said the troll. "Oh, no! Don't take me. Wait a little till the big Billy Goat Gruff comes. He's much bigger." "Very well! Be off with you," said the troll. But just then up came the big Billy Goat Gruff . Trip, trap, trip, trap, trip, trap! went the bridge, for the billy goat was so heavy that the bridge creaked and groaned under him. "Who's that tramping over my bridge?" roared the troll. "It's I! The big Billy Goat Gruff ," said the billy goat, who had an ugly hoarse voice of his own. "Now I 'm coming to gobble you up," roared the troll. Well, come along! I've got two spears, And I'll poke your eyeballs out at your ears; I've got besides two curling-stones, And I'll crush you to bits, body and bones. That was what the big billy goat said. And then he flew at the troll, and poked his eyes out with his horns, and crushed him to bits, body and bones, and tossed him out into the cascade, and after that he went up to the hillside. There the billy goats got so fat they were scarcely able to walk home again. And if the fat hasn't fallen off them, why, they're still fat; and so, Snip, snap, snout. This tale's told out. But the tale does not end there. Upon seeing what the big Billy Goat Gruff had done to the troll, the shepherds became aware that they were using goats all wrong and decided to mutate and weaponise them through black magic, foul science and forbidden breeding practices. The Troll Wars The Faction now known as the Grendel were the first to begin their experiments. Once armed with their mutant monster goats the shepherds began a long war against the Trolls of their homelands who barred the ways between the worlds. They decimated the trolls in their Homelands and, now able to travel between worlds, planned on hunting all trolls in existence. Grendel Invasions Drunk with power by their successful campaign against the trolls and slightly unhinged by their interaction with their monstrous creations the Grendel became greedy and began plotting to conquer the worlds that were now available to them. The Skullclan Homelands The first world the Grendel came into contact with were the Homelands of the Skullclan. The initial cruelty of the Grendel invasion forced the tribes of the Skullclan to band together via the Oath of Woe and sent a shockwave across the multiverse. Others noticed how effective the Grendel gruffs were as weapons of war and started to develop their own gruffs - as much in fear of the Grendel as of the trolls themselves. The trolls, unprepared for the onslaught of multiple Factions, were hunted to extinction - or so the shepherds thought. North's Rampage The Contraption had largely remained neutral during the Troll Wars, establishing The Crossroads as a place for commerce and science. The Grendel, seeing the military advantage of the location, launched an attack led by North. The fate of The Crossroads would be decided with North clashing against Vim at the gates of the city. Invasion of the Green Span and the Return of the Trolls The Grendel continued their depredations, now having found the Green Span, homeland to the Funkfiend. Unbeknownst to the invading force, the Funkfiend, instead of exterminating the trolls that resided in the Green Span, had captured four of them (Gildfisk, Schnark, Konn and Spittleflick) during the Troll Wars and secreted them away in a facility in order to experiment with troll essence. Thump's creation by Dr. Acrid inadvertently unleashed a terrible Plague upon the Green Span, mutating gruffs and ravaging the land itself. To the shepherds' horror Blabbersac (who had somehow avoided direct conflict with the shepherds during the Troll Wars), used the chaos caused by the fighting and the Plague to free the four imprisoned trolls - who rampaged in rage. Strange rumblings and rumours had been heard among members of the factions, but few were prepared when the trolls attacked. Shepherds scrambled to mount their defenses and fight as best they could but, in their fractured state, they would not be able to fight the threat back. Many were lost during the all-out war and the Funkfiend faction has been scattered leaderless (Baba Haga and Dr. Acrid among the casualties of the chaos), reduced to spreading the funk to re-establish their numbers. Gristle's Ruin Gristle, trying to save his nephew Conrey from the dread troll Blabbersac, marched to face the monster with his team of gruffs: Ol'Darby, Grinder and Gaptooth. No one knew what happened during this fight but Gristle and his herd were lost and presumed dead. During the fighting in the Green Span, several reported sightings of Gaptooth arose. They all stated the gruff was in a gluttonous frenzy gleefully devouring all the new delicious mutations which had arisen due to the Plague. Attack on the Dreamlands Blabbersac had begun a campaign against The Dreamlands. His foul agents and allies moved towards Respite with the intent of stealing knowledge from The Stuffkin Catalog of Dreams, for what nefarious purpose no one knew. The Stuffkin, having not participated in the Troll Wars and unprepared for such direct confrontation, attempted desperately to broker an alliance with the other factions in order to protect the Catalog. Emerald was sent as an envoy to the Grendel and Contraption factions, while Tucker was the Stuffkin ambassador to the Deepthing and Skullclan. Gristle's Revenge Grimwood, out of spite as much as need, reanimated Gristle's beaten and broken dead body as a weapon against Blabbersac. Moments before the troll could finally claim the Catalog to himself the Troll-killer leading Ol'Darby, Stitchy and Skreacher slew the monster - sealing the pact which formed the Nightmare Alliance.